Back at ya..

Life has a brilliant way of tapping you on the shoulder right when you have your chest puffed out proud that you have learned that lesson, won’t make that mistake again or God forbid think you are wiser than you used to be. I learned yesterday if you are going to talk the talk your boots better be ready for walking.

I was finishing up a meeting about my new business with three women half my age but each with valuable wisdom and the same goal. My business may sell jewelry but it’s real goal is to get women to support and celebrate the unique beauty and talents ever woman possesses .

I know it sounds like an impossible goal, both to redefine beauty and for women to support instead of judge each other . I am well aware the “high school mean girls” are alive and well in their 20’s, 30’s, 40’s ,50’s heck I met a few 70 somethings that would throw each other under the bus for a chance at the last “hottie” at the nursing home.

For the record I’m not that competitive type that wants to climb Mount Everest or even run a marathon but after growing up in the middle of five sisters and being a makeup artist for thirty years I have seen too much not to try to improve things.

This brings me back to the booth near the oyster bar in my favorite restaurant where my second meeting has just started. Her dress code was all business and very different than the workout gear my other friends wore. The upside of the fashion world is we don’t have to play by the same rules . Her world of finance reminds me of Mary Poppins and the outdated rule that to get work done your clothes have to be as stiff as ..no I’m not going to say upper lip but it would be as predictable as their wardrobe. Truth is we accomplished equal amounts at both meetings.

As I said goodbye to my friends and sat down with this well dressed blonde my lesson began. I had first met her when I was invited to a party at her lake home. To be honest she wasn’t very friendly but I’m not sure how I would react to meeting me after a day of boating with cocktails involved. I had been coerced by a mutual male friend to join him in showing up late to a party that I wasn’t invited. Party crashing is never on my to do list. I felt so uncomfortable that I fell into projecting that she must be a snob. So as she and I shared life stories that are too similar to not think someone upstairs is laughing and telling the joke about “be careful not to point a finger because when you look down at your hand there are three pointing back at you”

I couldn’t help but smile as this charming ,intelligent ,beautiful woman shared her past. She had survived being divorced with a baby and toddler like me. She had kept her business growing. like me, continues to raise her kids like me. She even learned to captain her own boat because her ex said women can’t drive boats. I learned to start our rusty old lawnmower ,it may not be a boat but trust me it counts. She is exactly the image I think of as Present beauty. Her beauty comes from a place so deep because she fought to keep shining .

I’m going to stop myself next time I point my finger at another woman unless it’s to direct her where the ladies room is . She and I are more alike than we are different . It is the same thing I’ve discovered in women everywhere. Maybe there is hope for my goal that someday we will understand that and stop judging and start supporting each other.

It’s really as simple as sharing your true story behind your image. I promise another woman has worn similar shoes. I dare you to be brave enough to join us in the back booth by the oyster bar. No one judges here but you may just find a pearl.